Why is everyone crapping their pants over the "EVIL DEAD" remake?

Has the world gone mad? Let me ask again...HAS THE WORLD GONE MAD? As anticipated as it was by everyone who has even a passing interest in horror, it seems that most of you seem to feel like director Fede Alvarez hit a grand slam with his "New Vision" of Sam Raimi's beloved no budget classic.

I'm here to tell ya that all of them cheerleaders are wrong....dead wrong.

Look at this ad on the left. Read some of this babble & tell me if you agree.

Was it "A Near Perfect Experience"? "Simply Astonishing"? "Utterly & Astoundingly Awesome?

Come on people...it's decent but only barely so. It's not even the best horror movie I've seen this month (That laurel goes to "THE LORDS OF SALEM". More on that in another post).

Nearly every remake of the last decade has been a waste of celluloid. Among the abortions Hollywood has excreted are "New Visions" of classic horror films like "THE FOG"(2005), "A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET"(2010), "FRIDAY THE 13TH"(2009), "THE HILLS HAVE EYES 2"(2007) & both "HALLOWEEN"(2007)/"HALLOWEEN 2"(2009). That's not to say there weren't a few good ones strewn about, "MY BLOODY VALENTINE"(2009) & "SILENT NIGHT"(2012) were actually pretty good and remained relatively close to their source material. But these two (And a few others) are the exceptions to the rule.

When Raimi announced that he was going to produce a remake of his film most, if not nearly all, of the horror world was aghast. Why would he even contemplate remaking his one true masterwork? I know all about his other films but while there are some good to great ones like "SPIDER MAN 2"(2004) & "A SIMPLE PLAN"(1998) I'm of the opinion that most of his films are just good enough to warrant attention. His one great film, the one that put him on the map, the one that started it all was "THE EVIL DEAD"(1983) and if he had to remake one of his own films, why fuck with the one that made him so beloved to so many?

The fact that he was doing it under the auspices of his own production company "GHOST HOUSE" tells us one thing for sure, he wanted to make some money! But could he really be that shallow? Had Hollywood turned him into something akin to Michael "The Hackmaster" Bay? Someone who's in it for the almighty buck & nothing else?

Additionally he hand picked a director to take the reins & remake "EVIL DEAD". Uruguayan native Fede Alvarez was chosen to helm the film albeit under the watchful eye of Raimi I'm sure. Alvarez also co-wrote the script with Rodo Sayagues & some uncredited tuning up from Diablo Cody. Alvarez caught Raimi's attention with a short he directed called "PANIC ATTACK"(2009) in which the Earth is invaded by some angry giant robots. It's OK but nothing earth shaking.



My biggest problem with the film has nothing to do with it's quality. It looks & sounds great! The practical special effects are of the highest order! It does what it's supposed to do but that wasn't enough for me & it shouldn't be for you either. The film failed for me for one reason, it has no soul. Why everyone is shitting their collective pants over it is just beyond me. It's louder, bloodier & a lot bigger than the original but without a soul it's an abject failure.

Why it's so much louder, bloodier & bigger is something I can't explain. But making it so only highlighted it's shortcomings to me. It certainly wasn't scary, I've found scarier things in my dirty laundry (Really...something is living in my hamper). It is a lot more violent and I will admit to wincing at some of the torments that the characters endure here but that's not scary either. The re-imagining of the famed "Tree Rape" scene is a lot more visceral but that doesn't help make the film any better. And speaking of the characters, I just didn't care for any of them. They arrive at the cabin for a different reason than in the original that tries to make it more topical but since all of the characters are so unlikable I just didn't care what happened to them. The audience had developed a relationship with Ash (Bruce Campbell) in the original. We cared about him & cheered him on as he battled throughout the night to stay alive. No one in the remake manages to induce any type of pathos out of their characters, they just yell, scream & bleed a whole lot. I grew up in the South Bronx of the 70's & 80's. I heard people yelling, screaming & saw them bleeding on a daily basis. You wanna try to scare me by doing the same? Nahhh, you gotta do better than that, and sadly they didn't. The audience I saw it with was very appreciative & had a great time hootin' & hollerin' at the screen but all the while I just nodded my head & wondered if they even saw the original. There is no one here that you're gonna remember after you leave the theater, and if you ask me that's just wrong. Fede Alvarez' version of  "EVIL DEAD" ( No "THE" in the title) is nothing more than a soulless, heartless film that represents all that's wrong with Hollywood remakes. It's not a terrible film, it certainly isn't boring either...at it's very best it only achieves mediocrity. It's made it's money & numerous sequels have been announced already so there'll be more of this pablum in the future but I suspect that the law of diminishing returns will have a say in how many sequels we'll actually see.

None of this is meant to dissuade any of you from seeing this movie. Go spend your hard earned dollars & support horror films in general! Just keep in mind that what you have here is the cinematic equivalent of a "Pod Person" from "ATTACK OF THE BODY SNATCHERS"(1956/78). It calls itself "EVIL DEAD" & it looks like "EVIL DEAD" but this ain't "EVIL DEAD". Not my idea of it anyway.

That's just fucked up acolytes.